Holly West, Author at Holly West

Falling Feels Like Flying

June 29, 2010Writing, Diary of Bedlam, DiversionsLeave a comment

The one thing I've been told over and over again since having my ACL surgery is "You can't fall." Doing so would mean the delightful new ACL they installed might fail, and as my surgeon told me, "I've never had a fail, and I don't want you to be the first." Thanks, dude. Way to put the pressure on.

I've pretty much lived my whole life trying to avoid falling, and have been largely successful (the ski accident that caused the ACL tear in the first place notwithstanding). But there's something about being told you absolutely cannot do something that makes the possibility that it will happen seem so much more likely.

So these days, most of my time is spent making sure I don't fall.

Of course, I only mention this because I wanted to post this video of Colin Farrell (my boyfriend) and Jeff Bridges (my sugar daddy) performing this great song from the movie CRAZY HEART:

But what about my writing, you ask? I've been a busy bee! Somewhere in the midst of my revision I realized I'd lost control of my plot so I took a few days to write up summaries of each chapter so I'd have a quick reference as I go forward. In retrospect I should have done that earlier in the revision process but luckily, falling down while writing a manuscript is a lot less risky than when you've just had surgery, as long as you pick yourself up and keep going.

The summaries are basic. At the top of each page I put the date, time, and location of the scene, then followed up with a brief description of what happens. I ended them by including who is introduced in each chapter and who is referenced (not actually in the scene, but mentioned by another character). I'm hoping this will make it easier to keep track of who is mentioned where since I kept finding myself putting notes in my documents that said "Check when this character is introduced" or some such thing.

So that's it. Time to get to work!

Fun on the CPM Machine

June 22, 2010UncategorizedLeave a comment

As part of my rehab, I’ve been prescribed a CPM (continuous passive motion) machine. I have to use it at least 3 hours a day, usually for an hour at a time. I alternate that with an hour spent in an ice cuff to help with any swelling and inflammation caused by the CPM.

Here’s a look at how it works:

As you can see the excitement never ends here at Casa West! But though I’m being sarcastic, I’m actually much happier now than I was last week. I am back to work, which thankfully I can do with my laptop lying on the couch, and being able to sleep without the brace and walk without crutches makes me feel free as a bird after what I experienced those first ten days post-op.

There is a long road of recovery ahead, one which I have already begun limping down slowly, but with increasing speed every day. And though I have come out on the other side of this ordeal relatively unscathed, I cannot emphasize this strongly enough: Be kind to your ACLs. It is your friend.

I’ll leave you with this video of how I feel about my own poor ACL:

Reading on the iPad

June 14, 2010May 22, 2014Books2 Comments

If I thought I was going to get a lot of writing done while I was recovering from surgery, boy, I was really wrong. I just don’t have the mental energy. But what I have been doing a lot of is reading. I’m on post-op day 7 and have read three books since the surgery (I generally average a book a week if I’m lucky). All of them were on the iPad, which surprises even me.

Lately a few people have asked me how I liked reading a book on the iPad and I didn’t have much of an answer for them since I’ve only really read paper books since I got it. But the surgery forced me to limit the amount of junk I carried from the bedroom to the couch every day and I’ve found that the iPad is the gadget I’ve used the most during this time. It functions as my laptop, my iPhone (not for calls, of course, but for various apps), my iPod, and my Kindle. Though the only one it really takes the place of entirely is the Kindle, there is no other device I own that is as versatile, and therefore, ideal for this recovery period.

Not to gush, but what can I say? It’s been great.

But what about reading? Originally, I hesitated to start any books on it because of its weight. It is heavier than the Kindle and therefore not as comfy to read. Now that I’ve actually read a few books on it, I can honestly say the weight is not an issue at all.

The other concern I had was the back lit screen. Seemed like it would be uncomfortable to focus on for so long. Apparently, however, my eyes have become used to reading on a computer screen because this hasn’t been a problem. And the user interface on the iPad is just so much better than my first generation Kindle.

I still love reading paper books more than any of them, but for ease of use and portability of lots of books, the iPad is hard to beat as far as I’m concerned. I never thought I’d say that! I’ve loved my Kindle and I really thought the iPad couldn’t replace it. Alas, I think it has.

Incidentally, the books this week are Think Twice by Lisa Scottoline, and Perish Twice, and Shrink Rap, both by Robert B. Parker. Both are in the Sunny Randall series, and I’ve just started another, Melancholy Baby. All of these have been the perfect “I’m recovering from surgery” books to read–nothing to heavy, fast-paced and entertaining.

Everything You Never Wanted to Know about Having ACL Reconstruction Surgery

June 8, 2010May 22, 2014Diversions, More About Me, Health139 Comments

When I found out I had to have ACL reconstruction surgery, of course I googled it, looking for people who had the same surgery. I found a few blogs about it, but I quickly found that reading them raised my anxiety level. Still, it was good to have a little information in advance from people who had been where I was going, so I’m going to pay it forward by writing about what happened to me. This promises to be a long, boring post, but hopefully it will help someone like me who wants to know exactly what happens when you have ACL surgery.

The surgical center I went to was Kerlan-Jobe in Los Angeles and my doctor is Dr. Daniel Kharrazi. So far, I’ve been really pleased with the treatment I’ve received from Kerlan-Jobe, Dr. Kharrazi, and especially the staff at Kerlan-Jobe.

Quick Fireplace Makeover

June 3, 2010Uncategorized1 Comment

Mick and I spent a couple of hours painting our fireplace over the Memorial Day weekend and gave it a whole new look.

Here's how it looked before:

The floating shelf cut the fireplace in the middle and just looked out of place.

Here's what it looks like now:

The view from the other side:

Without the shelf, there's nothing to interrupt the flow from floor to ceiling. It's much more dramatic, and I think, more in keeping with the design of the room.

Eventually, all of the walls in the living room will be light colored. At that point, I may decide to paint the fireplace a contrasting color. For now, I'm just glad to have one paint project out of the way.

Month of No Spending

June 1, 2010Inspiration3 Comments

May was our "Month of No Spending." What that meant for us was that we would not spend anything on extras like clothes, entertainment, lunches out, et cetera. We allowed ourselves to go out with friends and a couple of weekend excursions, but generally spent much less on going out than usual. We didn't make any cutbacks in groceries, however, as the purpose of this month was to curb spending on non-essentials. Ya gotta eat, right?

The result? We saved stayed about 10% below our monthly budget. And you know what? It wasn't hard at all. There were no real sacrifices made–all this month of no spending really required was that I think about my purchases rather than just buy impulsively. The iTunes add up. The apps bought for my iPhone, they add up too. And the books, my God, the books. I spend so much money on them every month and yet I have a book case full of "to-be-reads." Same goes for clothes.

I have declared June another no-spend month, but with a little more freedom (it is my birthday month, after all). I might allow myself a manicure and a pedicure, but then again, maybe not. It helps that I'll have surgery next week and I'm sure I'm not going to be up and about as much as usual.

Deciding not to spend means you think more about what you buy. It forces you to think about the ways you waste money and how cluttered life becomes when you make purchases you don't really need. It's a lesson I need to remind myself of constantly, because I'm an instant gratification type girl and nothing instantly gratifies like an impulse purchase. But I've got a closet full of those impulses, and really, they're not that satisfying.

And then there's the financial aspect of it–keeping your finances healthy is important, and in fact, crucial to quality of life. I lived paycheck-to-paycheck in my twenties and believe me, it's not fun and I have nothing to show for it. It's not about having things, it's about feeling secure, knowing you have a safety net. I'm still trying to learn that lesson, and thankfully, I have a kind-but-firm husband around to remind me of it occasionally.

I don't know about you, but I'm ready to save another 10%.

Memorial Day

May 28, 2010June 2, 2014More About MeLeave a comment

Last night Mick and I watched about an hour of The Hurt Locker. Midway through I asked Mick to pause it and I said “I hate this movie.” I expected him to be disappointed that I no longer wanted to watch it with him. Instead he said “It’s boring.” So we turned it off and watched Glee.

I’d never compare Glee to an Oscar-winning movie, but The Hurt Locker filled me with anxiety. Too much chaos, not enough story. That said, I always feel a little guilty for my disinterest in war films, as though I’m not appreciative of the tremendously brave work soldiers do. They have to live through it and I can’t even watch a film about it? Boy, I am a wuss (not that I think that was ever in question).

One of my favorite blogs, The Pioneer Woman, has recently run a series of photos called “Coming Home.” I’ll tell you, nothing puts a lump in my throat faster than seeing pictures of soldiers coming home to their loved ones. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be separated from my loved ones for months on end like that, not to mention the things soldiers witness on a daily basis while they’re serving in a war. How could life ever be the same after that?

When I was a kid, Memorial Day was the day we went to the cemetery to visit my Grandpa O’Neill’s grave in Santa Rosa. He died when I was seven. I remember the cemetery set up flags all along the perimeter and the veterans sold red poppies. I would walk among the rows of graves, reading the stones. The ones with photos held a particular fascination for me, and a few featured soldiers in uniform.

I will be spending this Memorial Day with friends eating my fill of Spanish food like tortilla de patata and chorizo, a far cry from the Memorial Days of my childhood. But along with this, I will be thinking about all the soldiers who have given their lives in service of our country as well as the soldiers who are currently serving. Politics aside, they are doing their job, and it’s a tough one, one that I would never want to do. For that, I am thankful.

And of course, I’ll be thinking about my Grandpa O’Neill who died so many years ago, and my Grandma Nancy who now lies beside him. Neither of them were veterans, but for me, Memorial Day will always remind me of that cemetery in Santa Rosa, California.

In the Mood

May 27, 2010Inspiration, Diversions2 Comments

Yesterday I took a day off from writing and created a mood board for my living room. But before I show you that, here is how the living room currently looks:

My main complaints with the room are that it's too dark, despite all the windows. I love the chocolate brown walls, but I'm ready for a change. Several of the drapes are in tatters due to sun exposure, so they need to be replaced. The floors are scratched up terribly from the pitter-patter of tiny paws, and the fireplace needs a complete makeover. Finally, the room is a little too busy. I'm looking to be more clutter free in the future.

Here is the mood board I created:

Click on the pic to see a larger version.

As you can see, it utilizes most of the stuff we already have, which is important. The main changes are the darker floors, wall color, and the drapes.

But what about those drapes? You'll notice I kept them on the mood board. That's because the drapes behind the sofa are in great shape–I'd really like to keep them if I can find a way to do that and integrate them with the new drapes.

Here's the problem: Those drapes are silk and they were really expensive. Had I known the sun was going to destroy them in less than 10 years, I would have never invested so much money in them. I won't make that mistake again. Unfortunately, due to the height of the windows, whatever I get needs to be custom.

My idea, or perhaps I should say dream, since it's ambitious, is to make the new drapes myself. I'd like to use the tops of the current drapes and then sew sheers to the bottom, kind of like this:

I'd leave the drapes behind the sofa completely intact, so there would be two types of drapes.

I'm still thinking about this, however, because like I said, it's a big project and probably outside of my sewing skills. Even if I make a mistake, however, the current drapes are so torn I won't feel like I wasted them. I just really want to keep my budget on this "makeover" down as much as possible by reusing/recycling what we've already got.

Another thing I'd love to do is cover the fireplace from floor to ceiling with stone tile. I priced it out, however, and it's a little pricey for us at the moment, so I think the first thing we'll do is paint it a light but contrasting color to the walls (which will be white or off-white) and then install the tile when it's more financially sound. I do love the look of that stone though, and it would be so dramatic.

I'll be doing a mood board of the dining area soon since we have an open floor plan and everything needs to be integrated. If only the actual decorating was as cheap (and easy) as the creating a mood board!

Writing a Bad Romance

May 24, 2010May 22, 2014Writing, Diary of Bedlam2 Comments

Back in the day (circa 2000), I knew I wanted to write a novel set in 17th century England and the court of King Charles II. I’d quit my day job in early 1999 with the intent to design websites, provide web content for my website on About.com, and finally, write a novel, the last of which had been my dream for as long as I could remember. I don’t recall how far I got on this first novel-writing project–actually, now that I think about it I did have a fairly complete outline but never went much farther than writing the first chapter. I guess I just wasn’t ready.

That novel was going to be a romance. I had not yet become obsessed with crime fiction, and it never occurred to me I could write a historical that wasn’t a romance (I know, for a writer, I certainly lack imagination). It wasn’t until I read David Liss‘ A CONSPIRACY OF PAPER that I realized hey, I can combine these two genres (this is what they call a “duh” moment). It took at least another couple of years for me to finally outline my current project, DIARY OF BEDLAM, but once I started down that path, I never stopped.

Even a good crime story needs some romance, however, and last week I found myself revising a love scene between my main character, Isabel Wilde, and the King. For some reason, I thought this would be easy, because unlike murder and mayhem, I’ve actually experienced some er, romance, in my real life. It turns out it’s difficult to write sex and romance without sounding generic, cheesy, and ridiculous.

When I first started writing so many years ago, my helpful husband bought me a book called the “Romance Writer’s Phrasebook.” At a loss for words, I opened it’s pages to the section on “Sex,” hoping for some inspiration. These are the types of phrases I found:

“His eyes raked boldly over her”
“She replied with complacent buoyancy” (huh? I don’t even know what that means)
“A delicious shudder heated her body”
“His nearness kindled feelings of fire”

Needless to say, I will not be using this particular book as a resource any longer.

Left with only my own imagination as a guide, I continued revising the scene by trying to tap into what I find sexy, which wasn’t so easy because it required me to become vulnerable, to open myself up. The scene is better because of it, but it might be the first time since starting this novel that I felt a little uncomfortable. Sure, I can write about corpses all day long, but when asked to write something real, that had a little bit of me in it, I squirmed.

The scene is finished for now, but it definitely needs another pass, during which I’ll have to go back to that vulnerable place and infuse it with more emotion, conflict, and drama. More importantly, however, I learned something about what’s been missing from my writing in general–myself. Sure, every character has their own filter through which the story is told, but ultimately, if I don’t inject something of what I personally know about human behavior and emotion, the writing will lack heart.

Part of my background is in goldsmithing, a craft which took me over 10 years to learn and I’m nowhere near perfection, and sometimes, not even competence. To me, writing is a craft as well, one that I will spend a lifetime learning and perfecting, like creating an exquisite ring. Writing this love scene was just another lesson learned, and one more step on my path.

Thrift Shop of My Dreams

May 21, 2010Diversions, More About Me4 Comments

Yesterday I went to one of my favorite places. It's a huge thrift store, located on Main Street. The variety of merchandise, including new and vintage clothing and accessories, home decor items, yarn, books, and more, is not to be believed. Strolling through it's rooms (did I mention it's huge?) takes hours because the hunt for great finds is part of the fun, and sometimes they're hidden. It's a truly wonderful place.

Except it doesn't actually exist, at least not that I'm aware of. Visiting this thrift store is a recurring dream I have. I'm not sure exactly where it's located, but it's reminiscent of the Main Street of the town I grew up in, Placerville, California.*

I don't know what triggers this dream. I've been fixated on updating my home's interior lately, which might be part of the reason. I love thrift stores, garage sales, and flea markets, and I don't get to visit them often enough–is the dream the result of my unfulfilled need to bargain shop?

Whatever the reason, I've been dreaming about this magical thrift shop for years now, and it's so vivid that I wake up not knowing if it's actually real or not. I always feel a little sad when I realize it's a figment of my imagination.

Let's open the floor to commenters: Do you have a recurring dream(s)? Or better yet, do you have any thrift shop/garage sale finds you're particularly proud of?

*The sign above is from the Hangman's Tree, a local bar in Placerville, which unfortunately is closed down (or soon to be). Too bad. Placerville is an old Gold Rush Town and this particular bar sported an effigy hanging from it's roof. I love that sort of thing. Someday I want to write a novel set there during the Gold Rush period.

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