Lately I've fallen back into a bad habit. I've been reading the comments posted on news stories–and not just any news stories, the controversial ones. I read the comments on reports I know are going to bring out the crazies (and by crazy I mean anyone who doesn't agree with my point of view). I'm kind of just kidding about what I deem to be crazy but you know what I mean. It's like I'm purposely searching for things that will get my dander up.

In the early days of the Internet, I was naive and earnestly commented on issues that were important to me. I never engaged in spewing hate, but I confess to trying, now and then, to present my argument in a thoughtful way to try to sway other commenters. It wasn't long before I realized that spirited debate was mostly not the point. Comments on news and other stories were and are just an opportunity for the angry, often prejudiced, mob to spread their venom. I quickly learned that message boards and reader comments were not the place for me.

Some people get off on this sort of thing, but I take everything so personally. I recently read a news story about Los Angeles boycotting the state of Arizona in response to their new immigration law and headed straight to the comments because I knew they were going to be rough. A lot of people didn't have very nice things to say about the city I live in and love. And I actually got depressed.

But like I said, this has sort of become a habit with me lately. For the last year or so I've been visiting the website of the Catholic League simply because I know there's going to be something on it that's going to piss me off. That's a little sick, no?

I mostly find that when I'm writing (or editing/revising, as I am now), I tend to get on a roll where the words flow freely and then I suddenly hit a brick wall and I'm stuck (for instance, I'm stuck now and I decided to take a break to write up this post). The first thing I want is distraction, and we all know their ain't nothing more distracting than the Internet. And when I'm finished checking email, CNN, Facebook, etc. and those words still aren't flowing, the next thing I do is feed my compulsion for negativity via blogs, websites, and reader comments that I know will ruffle my feathers.

I am declaring a moratorium, here and now, on this behavior because it serves no purpose other than to upset me. I have enough going on in this head of mine–I definitely don't need to look for negativity elsewhere.

What about you? Are you sometimes drawn to negativity or do you try only to engage in positivity?

We need a new dining room chandelier. The one we currently have is a somewhat ugly, generic, Home Depot model. Three of the bulb holders are permanently broken.

Trouble is, Mick and I have a no-buy agreement for May. That means we aren’t buying anything this month except for food and extreme need items. Since the three of the bulb holders still work, the chandelier purchase can be put on hold (and has been for many months).

I could make the argument that I need to get the new chandelier next month when the no-buy agreement ends, but that would be too easy. First, I need to find the perfect one. Second, I have to decide how I want to re-do our entire decor, because…

I have a confession to make. I’m feeling the itch not only for a new chandelier but for a COMPLETE HOME MAKE OVER. It can’t be denied that we have a beautiful home, especially at first glance. But the floors need refinishing, the windows need replacing, the carpets need tearing out, and the walls need painting. Oh, and we need new floor to ceiling drapes in the living room (7 at over 142″ each. That’s a lot of fabric).

That’s not all. I want a new master bathroom and a new kitchen.

I’m glad I got that off my chest.

Of course, none of these things, even the chandelier, will be happening any time soon. I have an ACL surgery to prepare for on June 7 and several weeks of recovery to look forward to after that (actually, it takes 6-9 months to fully recovery, but I’m talking about the immediate recovery after surgery). Plus, there is no money for all this–why do you think we have a no-buy agreement? Oh, there’s money maybe for the new windows but hello, where’s the fun in that? That’s like getting new clothes for Christmas when you were a kid.

Here’s what I’d do if I had a fully-functioning knee and wasn’t pretending to write a novel: I’d really like to do a dramatic but budget-friendly makeover of several rooms in our house. Do the research, do the work, everything (and blog it, of course). Reuse and recycle everything I can, and use the stuff we already have in new ways. Because that sort of thing really floats my boat.

Since that will have to be put on hold, at least for awhile, I contented myself today with searching on Etsy for unusual lighting I liked:

That will have to do.

 

Photo by Cyclone Bill via Wikimedia Commons
Photo by Cyclone Bill via Wikimedia Commons

Lately, I’ve been a little obsessed with lasagna. I pretty much make a batch every time I entertain. Why? Because it’s delish. And because it’s a dish you can make ahead, then pop it in the oven when it’s time to eat dinner. That means I get to socialize with my guests instead of slaving away at the stove while everyone else partays.

My go-to lasagna recipe is from Cooking Dinner: Simple Italian Recipes Everyone Can Make. It features a simple meat ragu and bechemel sauce version that’s oh so yummy. But my sister-in-law is visiting from England this week and I needed a vegetarian version. This Roasted Portobello Lasagna is what I came up with (it’s basically a mash-up of a few lasagna recipes).

Roasting the portobello mushrooms brings out their rich, smoky flavor. Coupled with creamy bechemel and sharp parmesan-reggiano, this lasagna is a truly amazing dish (if I don’t say so myself).

Portobello_lasagna

This is the lasagna before it’s been baked. Even uncooked it’s beautiful!

Ingredients:

1 1/2 lbs portobello mushrooms
Olive oil
4 cups milk
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup flour
1 tsp salt
Pepper to taste
1/8 ground nutmeg
12 lasagna noodles
8 oz shredded mozzarella cheese
1 cup freshly grated parmesan-reggiano cheese

For the bechemel sauce:
Heat the milk in a medium saucepan over medium heat until it’s just about to boil. Meanwhile, melt the butter over low heat in a larger saucepan. When melted, remove from heat and whisk in the flour until smooth. Continue whisking, and add the heated milk about one cup at a time.

Return the mixture to low heat. Add salt and nutmeg and stir until the sauce reaches a boil. Cook for three more minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and set aside until ready to use.

For the roasted portobellos:
Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees.

Remove stems and slice the caps about 1/4 inch thick. Drizzle olive oil over a cookie sheet and lay the slices closely together on the pan. Drizzle more olive oil over the slices and season with salt and freshly ground pepper.

Roast portobellos for about ten minutes, until they are sizzling. Turn them over, then roast for an additional ten minutes. They will shrink considerably and become a lovely rich brown color. Set aside until ready to use.

For the lasagna noodles:
Fill a large pot with water, salt it, and bring to boil. Add the noodles and boil for 10 minutes. Drain and rinse with cold water until cool enough to handle.

Assemble the lasagna:
Ladle a spoonful of bechemel into the bottom of an 8x12x2 inch pan. Add a layer of noodles. Add another layer of bechemel, 1/3 of the mushrooms, top with a sprinkling of mozzarella and 1/4 cup parmesan-reggiano. Repeat 2 more times. Add a final layer of noodles, sauce, and parmesan-reggiano.

Bake the lasagna in a 375 degree oven for 45 minutes, or until the top is browned and the sauce is bubbling. Allow to sit for 15 minutes at room temperature before serving.

Substitutions: Take a page from my friend Ben’s recipe book and use sharp white cheddar cheese instead of the mozzarella and parmesan-reggiano.

Finally, here’s where I get all food-snob on your ass. If you haven’t tried lasagna (meat or otherwise) with bechemel instead of ricotta or <shudder> cottage cheese, do yourself a favor and try it. You’ll never look at the world the same after that.

 

 

After my "woe is me" post yesterday, many of you said "Well, at least you can still write!" Indeed, I can, and indeed I am. I've finally found an editing/revision method that's working for me and in the last couple of weeks I've made slow but steady progress.

But first, I forgot to post this yesterday:

Holly_knee copy

Just in case you've never seen the inside of my knee before.

Now back to progress. My daily routine is simple. Every day I print out the next chapter that needs work. First thing I do is read it all the way through, trying not to edit as I do this so I can get an idea of what the chapter is about and how it fits with previous chapters. Next, I read it with my red pen in hand and make all the changes I think it needs. I usually have my trusty yellow legal pad next to me so I can write detailed notes or even re-write passages if I need to. This, obviously, is the longest part of the process, and while I try to get at least one chapter done a day if there is serious re-writing that needs doing sometimes that doesn't happen. The final step is to go back to my manuscript and make the changes. There's usually some re-writing that goes on during this step as well but it's generally just tweaking.

I now have just over a third of a polished novel I wouldn't mind showing to someone besides Stella and Stuart. Although Stella does like sinking her teeth into a good historical once in awhile. And by "polished" I don't mean "finished." I simply mean it's gone through it's first pass and I'm ready to let people read it. And by "people" I mean Mick.

Folks, it's been almost a year since I finished my first draft, and believe me, I'm well-aware I am going slow. But I try to tell myself this is my first novel. I'm learning. At the same time I can't cut myself too much slack or else this will never get done. So I generally give myself foot rubs in between floggings.

I know this is my blog but let's turn the floor over to you. What are you working on? Summer is coming, do you have any projects in mind? C'mon, I really want to know.

About four weeks ago I tore my ACL in a skiing accident. I suppose the term "accident" is a bit melodramatic; the truth is I fell down. I was skiing down a blue/black run, challenging, but certainly not beyond my capabilities. I was practicing carving and I got to going a bit too fast. I'm not sure what happened next but I lost control and fell with my left knee in an awkward position. I knew from the pain and my subsequent inability to put weight on it I'd done some significant damage.

After an MRI and a couple of visits to an orthopedic surgeon, it was determined the ACL is fully torn and I will need surgery in about four weeks to repair it because apparently, ACLs don't heal on their own (sneaky bastards). The surgery is fairly routine, not too invasive, and recovery is generally quick, so I haven't been that concerned. In the next four weeks, it's up to me to rehab the knee by swimming, using the stationary bike, and a little bit of eliptical.

If you're interested in learning more about the surgery, visit this link.

I'd been healing well. Most of my range of motion had returned, I had almost no pain and no swelling. But yesterday I had a bit of a setback and I re-injured the knee simply getting into the back seat of a car. 

I have no adequate way to describe the level of pain I experienced; suffice to say I nearly passed out from the intensity of it. Now my knee is worse that it was before and I'm feeling a lot more nervous in general about the surgery, the recovery, all of it.

I'm just not that good at dealing with setbacks.

This is where I pick myself up by my bootstraps and keep limping forward until I get to the finish line. I keep telling myself nothing's changed. But the truth is I'm tired of being a gimp. I'm tired of not being able to exercise properly. I'm even tired of being waited on, if you an believe that. I just want to get this done with.

But enough of my complaining. How do you deal with setbacks?

Pardon me while I take a moment:

Inspired by the recent Madonna episode of Glee I was listening to some old Madonna songs and came upon this one. It brought on an uncontrollable jag of tears. Not for the obvious reason–I’m still lucky enough to have a mom with whom I see and talk to all the time.

But this song has always had meaning to me, and now, more than ever.

I miss you.

Last week, I wrote my first piece flash fiction. Flash fiction varies in length, but for my purposes, I wanted to keep it under 1000 words.

A Piece of Cake
by Holly West

    On the morning of my tenth birthday, I woke before the sun rose because even then I had difficulty sleeping. Hungry, I plodded through the darkened house to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Inside, I found the birthday cake my mother had stayed up late making the night before. Being the creative type, she had decorated it by constructing an exact replica of my beloved Barbie Dream Camper. I imagine she had spent many days planning just how she would build this magnificent cake and how happy it would make me.

    At the time my ten year old mind was equally lacking in thoughtfulness and impulse control, and I could not fully appreciate her effort. Not bothering with a knife, I cut an approximate square with my fingers. It left behind an obvious crater and I turned it around so the hole did not show. I went back to bed.
    By the time I woke up again the rest of the family, minus my father who had already left for work, was up and about. My mother stood at the stove making pancakes and when she heard me come in she smiled at me and shouted “Happy Birthday, Lisa!” I thought of the birthday cake and sat down at the kitchen table next to my sister Kelly. Apparently unaware of the brutal defacement of her masterpiece, my mother brought me a plate of pancakes. She set it in front of me and kissed the top of my head. I looked down to see Mickey Mouse, complete with chocolate chip eyes, staring up at me.
    “No fair,” Kelly whined like the six-year old she was. “She gets Mickey!”
    “It’s Lisa’s special day,” mother said. “When it’s your birthday you’ll get one too.”
    Kelly said nothing but glared at me, and when I got up from the the table a few minutes later, she kicked me as if by accident.

    I received a lot of attention at school that day and I stepped off the bus filled with self-importance and the expectation of further accolades. “I’m home,” I called as I opened the front door but only silence greeted me, which was odd since my mother always made an effort to be home when my sister and I returned from school. My euphoria diminished further as I recalled the cake. I went to the empty kitchen, and with a thumping heart, opened the refrigerator. The cake was gone.
    Unsure what to do, I stood there staring until I remembered we weren’t allowed to keep the refrigerator door open too long because it wasted electricity. I closed it and inspected the garbage bin but found it empty. Then I noticed a note on the counter, scrawled in green crayon on a piece of scratch paper:
    “At Michelle’s house.” Michelle, aged eight and a playmate for both Kelly and I, lived next door. We were allowed to go over there by ourselves if we came home before dinner.
    I went down the hall toward the bedrooms and found the door to my parent’s room slightly ajar. My mother’s voice came from inside: “Lisa, is that you?”
    I stood at the door feeling a mixture of relief and dread and tentatively peeked inside. My mother lay on the bed, shoes off, with a cloth over her eyes. She had one of her migraines.
    “It’s me, mom,” I whispered.
    “Play in your room for awhile while I rest.”
    “Okay.”
    Let down, I kicked off my shoes and settled on my bed to read the latest issue of Dynamite. The ringing phone interrupted me, and I ran to answer it but my mother got there first. “Your father wants to talk to you,” she said, handing me the receiver.
    “Hi Daddy,” I said, hoping he didn’t know about the cake.
    “Hi Sweetheart. Having a good birthday?”
    “Yes.”
    “I’m glad to hear that. Listen, I’m really sorry, but I have to work late again tonight. I won’t be able to make it home for your birthday dinner.”
    “That’s okay, Daddy.”
    “I’ll be sure to come in and kiss you when I get home though, all right?”
    “Sure, Daddy.”
    “Love you, Sweetheart.”
    “Love you too,” I said. Click.

    That evening, my mother fixed my favorite dinner, spaghetti with meatballs. We sat in the dining room eating off the good china and drinking sparkling apple cider out of crystal wine glasses. I felt very grown up, but I could not enjoy it because I was so anxious over the cake. No one had said a word about it.
    We finished and my mother took the dinner dishes into the kitchen. My stomach was filled with spaghetti and butterflies, and I felt sick. A few moments later, she emerged with her fancy silver cake stand. Atop it was a small round cake, pretty but plain, and obviously store bought. She’d placed ten candles on top and now lit them.
    “Make a wish, Lisa!”
    I closed my eyes tightly, made my wish, then blew out all the candles. Kelly and my mother clapped their hands.
    I had school the next day so I had to go to bed at the regular hour. I put on my pajamas, brushed my teeth, climbed into bed, and waited for my mother to come say my prayers with me.
    When she leaned over to kiss me goodnight, I burst into tears. “I’m sorry, mom!”
    “Whatever for, darling?”
    “It was me who took a piece of the cake you made.”

    She was quiet for a moment, then said: “Well, that’s all right. It was just a cake, wasn’t it?” I nodded, wiping my tears. She tucked the covers under my chin, kissed the top of my head, and left the room.

I am on a never-ending quest for the perfect opening line.

As part of my search, today I went through a bunch of my books, looking at the opening lines while I hoped for inspiration to strike. It hasn't–yet–but I thought I'd post some of my favorites here.

Let's start with my favorite book of the year so far. City of Dragons, by Kelli Stanley:

"Miranda didn't hear the sound he made when his face hit the sidewalk."

What follow is even better, but this sentence alone gives one a sense of the type of book this is going to be. Love it.

Here's the rest of 'em:

"Whuppin' ass wasn't so hard, Stella Hardesty thought as she took aim with the little Raven .25 she took off a cheating son-of-a-bitch in Kansas city last month." – A Bad Day for Sorry by Sophie Littlefield

"Coming back from the dead isn't as easy as they make it seem in the movies." Money Shot by Christa Faust

"As Clifford Rose came to, the first thing he recognized was the stink, like a drainpipe running out of hell." The Loud Adios by Ken Kuhlken

"In the beginning, I believed in second chances." Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult

"It was hot as an Alabama outhouse when I got off the plane from Barcelona." The Jook by Gary Phillips

"Our hero was not one of those Dominican cats everybody's always going on about–he wasn't no home-run hitter or a fly bachatero, not a playboy with a million hots on his jock." The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz

"In my youth I suffered from too close a proximity to gaming tables of all descriptions, and I watched in horror as Lady Fortune delivered money, sometimes not precisely my own, into another's hands." The Devil's Company by David Liss

"The cops nabbed Santa Claus at the corner of Hollywood and Gower." Try Fear by James Scott Bell

Just for kicks, I'm going to add my own current opening line:

"My mother wept the first time she saw my fiery red curls, for ginger-colored hair marked a sorceress." Diary of Bedlam by Holly West

Does it hold up?

What are some of your favorite opening lines?

On this day in 1951, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were sentenced to death for conspiring to commit espionage for the Soviet Union.

I bring this to your attention not to discuss the guilt or innocence of the Rosenbergs, even though it is clear their trial and subsequent execution was fraught with questions. But if you are at all interested in the story of Ethel and Julius Rosenberg, HUAC, or McCarthyism, you should see the documentary "Heir to an Execution."

The documentary was directed by the Rosenberg's granddaughter, Ivy Meerapol, and it's fascinating. It deals with a particularly ugly period of American history, and frankly, one that we all need to understand more about.

I am interested in this story because I had a neighbor and dear friend who
was called to testify before the House Un-American Activities Committee
(HUAC) around the same time the Rosenbergs were on trial–in fact, when
she tried to hire an attorney she was refused by one because he was
involved in the Rosenberg trial. My friend was a communist–like so
many young people who grew up during the depression, she believed
communism brought with it an opportunity for all people to have enough.
Enough of everything humans need to survive and lead productive lives. My friend, who passed away at age 91 in 2008, eventually turned away from communism when Stalin's atrocities were brought to light, but she remained committed to the cause of social justice and economic well-being for all humans throughout her life.

I will leave you with this: We hear the words Socialist, Communist, and even Nazi thrown around a lot these days. I will not comment on the labels of Socialist or Communist, even though those who use them to describe our current government and President are misled, at best. I would encourage those who believe these terms are appropriate to study communism and socialism and determine for themselves whether or not the words apply.

Use of the term Nazi to describe our President is shameful and not to be tolerated by anyone, regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum. The Nazis murdered upwards of six million people. In light of this, is anyone seriously prepared to justify the label of Nazi for President Obama or anyone associated with him? If so, pull your head out of your ass and put it into a history book instead.

It’s April Fool’s Day. I’ve never been much of a celebrant of this “holiday,” but I do enjoy a good April Fool’s joke–I just don’t do ’em because I can never think of a good one.

Speaking of good ones, the best ever played on me actually happened on our trip to Tokyo in 2007. One of the things we made a point of seeing in Shibuya was the statue of Hachiko at Shibuya Station, the loyal akita who accompanied his owner to work every day and when his owner died, continued doing it for another ten years until his own death. You can read the story here.

Holly_hachiko

The day after we visited the statue, Mick and I woke up to a front page article in the Japan Times saying that the beloved landmark had been stolen during the night. We couldn’t believe it. How could it possibly be that this happened only one day after we saw the statue. We were in shock (okay, maybe not shock, but we were certainly surprised).

Then all of a sudden, Mick said “Wait a second, what day is this?” It dawned on both of us that it was April Fool’s Day, and we had indeed been fooled. The joke was on us, and probably many others in Tokyo that morning, at least the ones reading the English language newspaper. You can read the complete story here.

It occurs to me this might be one of those “you had to be there moments.” Perhaps. But it really was pretty funny at the time. And since I can’t think of my own April Fool’s Joke to play on you, you’ll have to settle for this anecdote. Happy April Fool’s!

But wait, let’s not stop here. What’s the best April Fool’s Joke you’ve played or someone’s played on you?