Holly_noiratbar This past Sunday night, I was invited to read a passage from Diary of Bedlam at the first Noir at the Bar L.A.

Eric Beetner, Stephen Blackmore, Josh Stallings, and Duane Swierczynski also read. I suppose it's appropriate to ask the question: Including my own, which of these names are not like the others? You guessed it: Holly West.

I'll be honest. I was terrified to read my work in front of this crowd. Not only was this to be Diary of Bedlam's first public outing, my work is considerably fluffier than the pull-no-punches, skulls-blown-to-bits stories these guys put out. I love reading the hard stuff, but I don't write it because when I do, it's trite, derivative, and fake. I'm a big believer in knowing your strengths, and playing them up to the hilt.

Not that I don't also believe in doing something new and challenging once in awhile.

So with that said, I did the only thing I could: I donned a push-up bra, black leather boots, and pretended like I knew what the hell I was doing.

For the most part, it went well. I certainly have no regrets, though I still wonder if perhaps I could've picked a better passage. That was the hardest part, you see–figuring out what to read. What best represented the tone, characters, and story of Diary of Bedlam? I'm not sure I nailed it, but the passage I picked at least did the job.

One thing I learned from this experience that I will certainly be putting into future practice: Reading your work aloud is an excellent editing tool. I'd heard this before and had even done it a little whilst editing Diary. But now I kind of think that every scene in every novel, every story, should be read aloud because it's easier to identify superfluous words and passages that don't work when you hear them, not just read them.

Many, many thanks to Eric Beetner, Stephen Blackmore, Aldo Cacagno, Josh Stallings, and Duane Swierczynski for letting me play author for a night. Makes me think someday I might be doing it for reals.

Noirbar

I don't have much to add to Stephen Blackmoore's post about NOIR AT THE BAR – LA EDITION.

Except:

It's likely I'll be reading a bit of my own work at this hallowed event, which is a pretty big deal to me, being a relative novice and all. And even if I weren't reading, getting the chance to meet up with my fellow LA writers and hearing them read their own work–well, that sounds like a damned good evening.

Visit the facebook page for more info. 

Hope to see you there!

Animal_grasshopper I attended the California Crime Writers Conference in Pasadena this weekend. What a great time. I met a lot of new people and got to know several people better. We all talked incessantly about writing, books and careers, and everything in between. In the process, I took away loads of great advice.

Patience
The first bit of wisdom I took with me was something I already knew, though it seems that I require daily reminders of its importance. Writers must have patience. Patience is something I've always had in short supply, but I'm going to have to cultivate it if I want to be happy in this career I've chosen (sometimes I feel like it chose me). 

Until I started my search for an agent, I had no idea how much patience would be required of me. The process goes something like this: I send my query, the agent responds, usually within a couple of days, asking for more material. I send it on thinking they've been waiting with nothing to do for my brilliant manuscript to make its way to their computer. Of course as soon as they get it they're going to read it, love it, and offer me representation, right?

Turns out agents have other stuff to do besides reading my manuscript. In fact, they might not ever get around to reading it. At the very least, it is typical to wait weeks or months for a response, even when they've requested a full manuscript. 

Holly_cake June is my birthday month. When I was a kid, I hated having a birthday in June because school was already out for the summer and it meant I couldn't be celebrated at school the way other kids were when it was their birthdays. I'm sure my mother was pleased, however, because she never had to schlep 30 cupcakes into my classroom.

Speaking of my mother and cupcakes, here's a somewhat funny story, and I don't think she'll mind me telling it. For various reasons, my parents locked onto the health food craze early on. Certainly before any of my friend's parents (if they ever did). Progressive, right? Uh, no. It was the bane of my 13-year-old existence (along with the 1968 Oldsmobile they picked me up from school in). Back in those days, one didn't have stores like Whole Foods or even Trader Joe's, stocked full of healthy options that actually taste good. My mom's version of health food was carob, no salt, no fat, and wheat germ sprinkled on everything. 

But I digress. 

At some point during this time, my mother was called upon to bring a baked good to a school or church function and she chose to whip up a carob concoction–I do believe they were cupcakes of some sort. She set them down on the table and awhile later a lady picked one up, took a bite and said "Ew, what is this?" She might've even let an expletive fly. I know I would have. But my mother was standing close by and she heard everything, causing her much hurt and embarrassment. Her response to the incident now is "What was I thinking?" Indeed, mother, indeed.

Of course, this post was meant to be an update of what's happening in Diary of Bedlam land, so I suppose I should get on with it. I am, at the moment, looking for an agent, which means sending out query letters to various agents and agencies, hoping they'll at least want to take a look at my manuscript. On the whole, the response to these queries has been great–I'm at about a 35-40% success rate and the manuscript is currently being read by four agents with a fifth one who asked for more material. Definitely not something I'm complaining about.

That said, there haven't been any offers of representation and not only is it possible none of these agents currently considering the manuscript will make an offer, it is extremely likely they will not. Such is the nature of the process, I'm learning. Still, I'm optimistic, I really am.

I'm also writing the sequel to Diary of Bedlam, the working title of which is Diary of Deception. It took me three years to write Bedlam, so I'm hoping to finish this one more quickly. I need to learn how to write a polished novel in 6 months or less, I think.

In a few weeks I'll be 43, can you believe it? Well, I'm sure you can, but I certainly cannot. 

Lately I've been thinking about ways I can earn an income from my writing, besides the obvious, which is selling Diary of Bedlam. This morning I decided to scan Craigslist for freelance writing jobs. Here's a sampling of what I found:

URBENZ Magazine
URBENZ is a startup online magazine as is lloking (sic) for people, who are interested in trying something different instead of the typical 9-5. I'm not going to wirte (sic) what sort of skills you need to have. I want you to show me what you have to offer. Everyone has something to offer, and while some corporate gigs expect you to fit some box I don't expect that because people weren't born from a box and the only people that live in boxes are usually dead.

Holly's note: While I don't live in a box exactly, it is entirely possible that I am just too old to appreciate what this person is looking for. I can live with that, in a box or not.

Dating Consultant
Currently hiring consultants to help our male clientele. We keep a low profile and are a small firm specializing on the more risque end of the online dating spectrum. We are looking for consultants to help with creating profiles targeting our individual male client's goals. A few examples:

1) A younger man seeking a discreet relationship with an older female
2) An older man seeking a fling with a younger female
3) A young professional male seeking to simply casually date women of the most attractive caliber possible
4) A man who likes to be sexually dominant seeking a complimentary submissive female

Holly's note: Ghost writer for guys who want to cheat on their wives? Sign me up!

Minx Society (looking for unpaid interns to write blog posts)
Minx Society isn’t a company, it’s a lifestyle. Our mantra? Just because you aren’t famous doesn’t mean you can’t live like a celebrity! Minx Society specializes in trend consulting, personal styling, public relations, and event promoting.

Our website serves as a vessel for all minxes around the world – an online collection featuring the hippest of the hip. The definition of a Minx is elusive. But that is the very essence of a Minx; she doesn’t fit into any mold. She is enigmatic, iconic, independent, imaginative, and intelligent. Nothing fazes her; she’s calm and collected. She’s mastered the art of getting whatever she wants. Minxes can be any age in any profession; they simply have one unifying quality: they stand out.

Holly's note: I've never been hip. Not even close. I'm not even hippy in the physical sense–my assets tend toward the upper part of the body if you know what I mean. Besides the words "imagninative and intelligent," this description is pretty much the exact opposite of me, so I guess I'll cross this gig off the list.

I do have to admit that the above jobs seem slightly more interesting than the "Medical Transcription" and "Computer Tech Writer" positions on Craigslist (neither of which I'm remotely qualified for either). And now that I've had a chance to think about it, that Dating Consultant gig could be good fun–seriously, sign me up.

There are a couple of workshops for writers coming up that I thought I'd point out. Both are being conducted by real pros in the business: Sue Ann Jaffarian and James Scott Bell. I have a great deal of respect for both of these authors and have no doubt both workshops are well worth it.

May 14, 2011:

TURNING AGENT WOES INTO AGENT WOWS with Sue Ann Jaffarian

From the event description:

Often the first impression is the only chance you will get when pitching your work to agents. In this Sisters In Crime/Los Angeles sponsored workshop, Sue Ann Jaffarian, best-selling author of three mystery series, will show you how to put your best foot forward when approaching agents, whether in person or by query.   

Sue Ann will take you from the very beginning of setting up your manuscript with proper formatting to what to say and what not say to grab the attention of agents.

Click here for more information.

June 4-5, 2011

Selling Your Novel and Screenplay Intensive with James Scott Bell

Some of the things you'll learn in this seminar:

  • The single most important secret to selling your work to Hollywood or big publishers
  • The one plot element that most writers miss, dooming their chances of selling
  • How a misunderstanding of "character arc" might actually be hurting your story, and what you can do about it.

There's much more, of course. Check out the event description for more details and information on how to attend.

Spring Warren is the author of Turpentine and most recently, The Quarter-Acre Farm: How I Kept the Patio, Lost the Lawn, and Fed my Family for a Year. Today, she stops by my blog to tell the story of her path to publication.

Turpentine I spent a couple of years after graduate school not only writing a novel, but also writing query letters trying to interest some publisher, some agent, some anybody in my work. I’d send out half a dozen letters, then over the next months watch the form letters dribble in, all of which said sorry but they weren’t taking any new clients/reading any new work/interested in what I was doing. 

I didn’t care much for this process. Not only did I feel like I was constantly volunteering my chest for the plunging sword of rejection, but the combination of investigating editors, agents, publishers and then crafting the letters to them, made for days and days of tedium that felt, increasingly, like wasted effort.

To make matters worse, the few houses that did respond to my queries and which then read my novel all said pretty much the same thing  – the writing was good but that it was almost impossible to sell “quiet character novels” written by unknown authors.   

I read “quiet” to mean boring.

I started another novel and I swore no one would call it quiet. I put big characters in it who got blown up, shot at, trampled by buffalo, hanged, drowned, and who fell disastrously in love.

I also stopped sending query letters to presses. I decided that I would focus on finding an agent.  If I got an agent, I reasoned, not only would this agent provide me with a better chance of being published, but the agent would also be in charge of the query work (and hopefully be much, much, much better at it than I was) and I would be free to spend my time writing fiction. QuarterAcre-newvines png

I’m not so sure that was such a good plan, as I had no publications. No short stories or essays in print  doesn’t exactly inspire confidence among those who print things. Luckily, about the time I’d decided to curtail my query writing I won the inaugural Maurice Prize, an award for the “best unpublished novel by a UC Davis alum.” I was then able to contact agents with this feather in my cap. Two of those agents were willing to represent me. After speaking to both of them I chose the agent who was sharp and funny and sounded like Julie Andrews (I had visions of her as Mary Poppins pulling my novels out of her carpet bag in front of gawping New York editors).

My agent was all I dreamed of. She busily prepared to send out my Maurice winning novel about the time I finished my “unquiet” novel, Turpentine. When my agent read Turpentine she put the prize-winner aside and began sending out the new (and unquiet) work.

Within a couple of months my agent had two houses that wanted to buy Turpentine. They each offered the same amount of money. Then they each went up a smidge – the same smidge – to the penny. I talked to both editors on the phone. I liked both editors. This should have been delightful. 

I was miserable. There was no easy choice. There wasn’t even a charming accent to consider. I was afraid I would certainly make a big mistake when deciding between the two houses. 

The best advice I got was from the novelist John Lescroart, who said the worst thing that can happen to a book is for the editor to leave the publishing house and “orphan” your book. He recommended I choose the house where this is least likely to happen. I did just that, and Turpentine was published by Grove Atlantic Books where it was edited by Morgan Entrekin – who also owned the company. The other editor did indeed take a job at another house within the year, by the way.

Two years later I sold my second book. I’d heard that it is harder to get the second book published than the first, but my agent, once again, did most of the hard work. Not the worrying, however, which I am so good at it would be a crime to delegate. I was growing most of my food in my suburban yard that year and my husband had doubted I could do so. I was talking to my agent at some point about it and telling her that in spite of all my errors and ignorance about farming and my husband’s nay-saying I was quite sure I was going to be able to finish the year not only feeding myself, but the family as well.  My agent was intrigued with the story and then said she thought it could be a great book, and that I should write up a proposal.  It took a few months to sell the book, but The Quarter Acre Farm; how I kept the patio, lost the lawn, and fed my family for a year is out with Seal Press now.

I am surprised at how easy it sounds. I got published twice in only a dozen or so paragraphs! It didn’t seem so easy when I was going through it, however; not the first time nor the second. I suspect trying to get published the third time won’t be a cakewalk either. My best bet in dealing with the process is to sidestep the feelings of rejection and doubt while hoping for the happy phone call that a book has been sold by not waiting.  Instead, I start another book. When I am immersed in the new project, the book that is making the rounds ceases to feel so consuming and I can remember the part of being a writer that I really like – the writing.

I've been thinking about book promotion lately. Not sure why–probably because Left Coast Crime 2011 just finished up and a lot of my friends went. It made me ask the question:

These days writers have to do quite a bit of their own promotion to spread the word about their books. How much time do you spend "on the road" each year promoting your books? (This could mean conferences, book tours, local events, etc).

Final_cover_long_knives Rebecca Cantrell:

More time than I'd like! For A NIGHT OF LONG KNIVES, I did a 10 city tour that took a month (but I took several days off at the beginning and the end to just hang out in San Francisco and New York with my family). Plus Bourchercon and LCC (4 days each).

For A GAME OF LIES, I'm packing it into a 1 week tour, 4 days for Tuscon Festival of Books, 4 days for LCC, 3 days for the Hawaii Island Book and Music Festival. Still haven't decided on Bouchercon.

Holly's note: You'd better go to Bouchercon, Rebecca!

Eric Beetner:

Not much time at all 'on the road'. Most of that is due to two things for me: money and interest. Not 94212919 interest from me, I feel like I'd go anywhere, but interest from stores or any other place that does author events. I'm actually finding it surprisingly difficult to get anyone to have me. I discovered that the treatment I got at The Mystery Bookstore spoiled me and now I can't even get an email returned from any number of indie stores where I've sent books (at my expense for the purchase of the book and postage).

I know they are busy and are inundated with requests all day long but the lack of response has been a shock.

I've done two LCC's now and B-Con last year. I have every intention of doing B-Con again in St. Louis but that may change. Conferences for me are all about networking and meeting other authors, not book sales. Last B-Con I didn't sell a single book. Still had blast though so totally worth it.

Rebecca Cantrell is the author of the award-winning Hannah Vogel series and iDrakula (writing as Bekka Black).

Eric Beetner is the co-author of ONE TOO MANY BLOWS TO THE HEAD and BORROWED TROUBLE, and author of numerous award-winning short stories.

At least that's what author Darrell James said to me on Facebook today. I believe him.

The first of which I speak is sending out my first agent query for DIARY OF BEDLAM. I did that yesterday, and I've sent two more today. I guess I'm gonna keep doing that until one of them falls at my feet and begs to represent me.

Wait, wha…? I'm sorry, I dozed off there for a second. I must've been dreaming. Hope I didn't say anything foolish while I was out.

It feels wonderful to finally send DIARY OF BEDLAM (well, at this point, just a synopsis of it) out into the real world. For so many months, or years, actually, I struggled for it all to come together. Then one weekend *poof*–the novel was finished. Now it's not just finished, it's polished.

And you know what? I AM SO PROUD OF IT.

I know it's rude to use all caps–it's considered shouting. But if I had a taller ladder I'd climb up to my roof top and shout this to the world:

FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS, READERS, BECAUSE BEDLAM IS ABOUT TO BE UNLEASHED.

Or something like that.

Since I don't have a taller ladder, I'll probably just sit here hitting the refresh button on my email and checking my spam folder until I get a response from an agent.

 

One of my goals in 2011 is to write more short stories. So when Chuck Wendig at Terrible Minds issued the Irregular Creatures Flash Fiction Challenge, I figured I'd give it a shot.

Here it is, 993 words.

AN IRREGULAR PROWL

Jimmy Ward noticed the police cruiser’s flashing lights in his rear view mirror before he heard the siren. He reached for the item on the passenger seat and shoved it underneath without taking his eyes off the road, then dutifully pulled off to the side. He lowered the car window, rested his elbow on the sill and attempted to appear calm, despite the adrenalin that had been running through his veins since the night before.

The cop took his time making his way to Jimmy’s car. When he bent forward and peered through the window, Jimmy noticed an angry purplish scar running down the left side of his face, stretching from temple to mouth. His nametag read “BRADLEY.”

“License, registration, and insurance, please,” Bradley said.

Jimmy removed his sunglasses and looked the cop in the eye, but said nothing.

From a young age, Jimmy knew he was special. All it took was a look in the mirror to see that. His otherwise ordinary face featured one dark brown eye and one translucent blue eye. His mother called him her ‘irregular creature,’ and while the nickname seemed rather unkind for a boy of six, he embraced it.

His gaze took adults and children aback and he’d learned to use their discomfort to his advantage. He’d spent a lifetime getting over on people; coaxing girls to sleep with him, getting out of tickets, convincing teachers to give him better grades than he deserved. Once, he even talked his way out of an arrest when he was caught stealing a bike from a rack near the beach. His talents had improved since then, but he still relied on his strange looks to keep as many steps ahead of others as he could.

Now, as Bradley stared at him with small, squinty eyes, Jimmy waited for the slight hesitation that always happened when someone saw him for the first time. But Bradley’s pause lasted longer than most; so long that Jimmy’s confidence waned. He thought about the item under the seat and squirmed.

“Is there a problem, Officer?” Jimmy asked.

“You neglected to stop for pedestrians at the crosswalk,” Bradley said.

Pedestrians, Jimmy thought. What pedestrians? He hadn’t seen them, but even so, it seemed like a dickish reason to pull someone over. He felt for his wallet in his back pocket, but it wasn’t there.

After a moment of panic, he remembered he’d put in his backpack when he’d left home the night before. Relieved, He turned and reached toward the back seat.

Officer Bradley stiffened and moved his hand to his holster.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s in my backpack,” Jimmy said. Bradley watched as Jimmy felt around for the backpack, but the back seat was empty.

Where the fuck was it? He realized what must’ve happened, and felt the blood drain from his face. He must’ve forgotten the backpack at the scene last night. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“I left the backpack at home,” he said. “My license is in it.”

Bradley scowled. “Registration?”

Jimmy opened the glove compartment and picked through it. He knew the document was also in his wallet, but thought the search would buy him time to think about what to do.

Jimmy’s penchant for manipulation had evolved over the years into a career as a small time con man. When times were lean, he resorted to hot prowling, enjoying the rush he got when he entered houses he knew to be occupied better than breaking into empty residences. Armed with an eye for small, valuable items he could easily transport in his backpack, he got in and out quickly, never leaving a trace. He could make a lot of quick cash, but knowing the increased danger of arrest, he’d been careful not to make it a habit.

But last night, everything had fallen apart.

He’d prowled a neighborhood unencumbered by pesky streetlights. He peeked into rear windows, searching for just the right place. In one house, a young woman stood in a bedroom with her back to the window, perusing a bookshelf. She selected a book and left, and Jimmy took his chance. He opened the unlocked window and dropped his backpack on the floor. He climbed in himself just as the woman re-entered the room.

She grabbed a perfume bottle from the bedside table and hurled it at him. He raised a hand to block it and ran toward her, catching her by the arm as she tried to run away. A moment later, she stumbled down the hall screaming while he remained in the same place, holding a piece of flesh-colored plastic.

Jimmy had a direct view of the front door, and he saw the woman as she skidded toward it, one arm waving wildly in the air while her stump just hung there. She opened the door and ran, yelling, into the street. With no time to spare, Jimmy escaped through the window and sprinted through the neighbor’s backyard. He ran to relative safety, still gripping the plastic arm.

With Officer Bradley growing impatient, Jimmy knew he had to act fast. If the police had his backpack, they knew his identity. He closed the glove compartment and shrugged.

“Must be in my backpack too.”

“Step out of the car, sir,” Bradley said.

Jimmy sighed and made like he was about to do as he was told. Instead, he started the car and pulled out onto the busy street, knocking Bradley over and grazing an oncoming car. Breaks squealed and horns honked, but Jimmy just stepped on the gas and drove.

Hours later, a near-empty gas tank forced him to stop on a lonely stretch of highway leading to a town he’d never heard of. He felt under the passenger seat and pulled out the prosthetic arm. He examined it, wondering if he could sell it and make some cash.

Nah. He lowered the window, heaved it out into the darkness, and left to find a gas station.