May 2010 - Holly West

Memorial Day

May 28, 2010June 2, 2014More About MeLeave a comment

Last night Mick and I watched about an hour of The Hurt Locker. Midway through I asked Mick to pause it and I said “I hate this movie.” I expected him to be disappointed that I no longer wanted to watch it with him. Instead he said “It’s boring.” So we turned it off and watched Glee.

I’d never compare Glee to an Oscar-winning movie, but The Hurt Locker filled me with anxiety. Too much chaos, not enough story. That said, I always feel a little guilty for my disinterest in war films, as though I’m not appreciative of the tremendously brave work soldiers do. They have to live through it and I can’t even watch a film about it? Boy, I am a wuss (not that I think that was ever in question).

One of my favorite blogs, The Pioneer Woman, has recently run a series of photos called “Coming Home.” I’ll tell you, nothing puts a lump in my throat faster than seeing pictures of soldiers coming home to their loved ones. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be separated from my loved ones for months on end like that, not to mention the things soldiers witness on a daily basis while they’re serving in a war. How could life ever be the same after that?

When I was a kid, Memorial Day was the day we went to the cemetery to visit my Grandpa O’Neill’s grave in Santa Rosa. He died when I was seven. I remember the cemetery set up flags all along the perimeter and the veterans sold red poppies. I would walk among the rows of graves, reading the stones. The ones with photos held a particular fascination for me, and a few featured soldiers in uniform.

I will be spending this Memorial Day with friends eating my fill of Spanish food like tortilla de patata and chorizo, a far cry from the Memorial Days of my childhood. But along with this, I will be thinking about all the soldiers who have given their lives in service of our country as well as the soldiers who are currently serving. Politics aside, they are doing their job, and it’s a tough one, one that I would never want to do. For that, I am thankful.

And of course, I’ll be thinking about my Grandpa O’Neill who died so many years ago, and my Grandma Nancy who now lies beside him. Neither of them were veterans, but for me, Memorial Day will always remind me of that cemetery in Santa Rosa, California.

In the Mood

May 27, 2010Inspiration, Diversions2 Comments

Yesterday I took a day off from writing and created a mood board for my living room. But before I show you that, here is how the living room currently looks:

My main complaints with the room are that it's too dark, despite all the windows. I love the chocolate brown walls, but I'm ready for a change. Several of the drapes are in tatters due to sun exposure, so they need to be replaced. The floors are scratched up terribly from the pitter-patter of tiny paws, and the fireplace needs a complete makeover. Finally, the room is a little too busy. I'm looking to be more clutter free in the future.

Here is the mood board I created:

Click on the pic to see a larger version.

As you can see, it utilizes most of the stuff we already have, which is important. The main changes are the darker floors, wall color, and the drapes.

But what about those drapes? You'll notice I kept them on the mood board. That's because the drapes behind the sofa are in great shape–I'd really like to keep them if I can find a way to do that and integrate them with the new drapes.

Here's the problem: Those drapes are silk and they were really expensive. Had I known the sun was going to destroy them in less than 10 years, I would have never invested so much money in them. I won't make that mistake again. Unfortunately, due to the height of the windows, whatever I get needs to be custom.

My idea, or perhaps I should say dream, since it's ambitious, is to make the new drapes myself. I'd like to use the tops of the current drapes and then sew sheers to the bottom, kind of like this:

I'd leave the drapes behind the sofa completely intact, so there would be two types of drapes.

I'm still thinking about this, however, because like I said, it's a big project and probably outside of my sewing skills. Even if I make a mistake, however, the current drapes are so torn I won't feel like I wasted them. I just really want to keep my budget on this "makeover" down as much as possible by reusing/recycling what we've already got.

Another thing I'd love to do is cover the fireplace from floor to ceiling with stone tile. I priced it out, however, and it's a little pricey for us at the moment, so I think the first thing we'll do is paint it a light but contrasting color to the walls (which will be white or off-white) and then install the tile when it's more financially sound. I do love the look of that stone though, and it would be so dramatic.

I'll be doing a mood board of the dining area soon since we have an open floor plan and everything needs to be integrated. If only the actual decorating was as cheap (and easy) as the creating a mood board!

Writing a Bad Romance

May 24, 2010May 22, 2014Writing, Diary of Bedlam2 Comments

Back in the day (circa 2000), I knew I wanted to write a novel set in 17th century England and the court of King Charles II. I’d quit my day job in early 1999 with the intent to design websites, provide web content for my website on About.com, and finally, write a novel, the last of which had been my dream for as long as I could remember. I don’t recall how far I got on this first novel-writing project–actually, now that I think about it I did have a fairly complete outline but never went much farther than writing the first chapter. I guess I just wasn’t ready.

That novel was going to be a romance. I had not yet become obsessed with crime fiction, and it never occurred to me I could write a historical that wasn’t a romance (I know, for a writer, I certainly lack imagination). It wasn’t until I read David Liss‘ A CONSPIRACY OF PAPER that I realized hey, I can combine these two genres (this is what they call a “duh” moment). It took at least another couple of years for me to finally outline my current project, DIARY OF BEDLAM, but once I started down that path, I never stopped.

Even a good crime story needs some romance, however, and last week I found myself revising a love scene between my main character, Isabel Wilde, and the King. For some reason, I thought this would be easy, because unlike murder and mayhem, I’ve actually experienced some er, romance, in my real life. It turns out it’s difficult to write sex and romance without sounding generic, cheesy, and ridiculous.

When I first started writing so many years ago, my helpful husband bought me a book called the “Romance Writer’s Phrasebook.” At a loss for words, I opened it’s pages to the section on “Sex,” hoping for some inspiration. These are the types of phrases I found:

“His eyes raked boldly over her”
“She replied with complacent buoyancy” (huh? I don’t even know what that means)
“A delicious shudder heated her body”
“His nearness kindled feelings of fire”

Needless to say, I will not be using this particular book as a resource any longer.

Left with only my own imagination as a guide, I continued revising the scene by trying to tap into what I find sexy, which wasn’t so easy because it required me to become vulnerable, to open myself up. The scene is better because of it, but it might be the first time since starting this novel that I felt a little uncomfortable. Sure, I can write about corpses all day long, but when asked to write something real, that had a little bit of me in it, I squirmed.

The scene is finished for now, but it definitely needs another pass, during which I’ll have to go back to that vulnerable place and infuse it with more emotion, conflict, and drama. More importantly, however, I learned something about what’s been missing from my writing in general–myself. Sure, every character has their own filter through which the story is told, but ultimately, if I don’t inject something of what I personally know about human behavior and emotion, the writing will lack heart.

Part of my background is in goldsmithing, a craft which took me over 10 years to learn and I’m nowhere near perfection, and sometimes, not even competence. To me, writing is a craft as well, one that I will spend a lifetime learning and perfecting, like creating an exquisite ring. Writing this love scene was just another lesson learned, and one more step on my path.

Thrift Shop of My Dreams

May 21, 2010Diversions, More About Me4 Comments

Yesterday I went to one of my favorite places. It's a huge thrift store, located on Main Street. The variety of merchandise, including new and vintage clothing and accessories, home decor items, yarn, books, and more, is not to be believed. Strolling through it's rooms (did I mention it's huge?) takes hours because the hunt for great finds is part of the fun, and sometimes they're hidden. It's a truly wonderful place.

Except it doesn't actually exist, at least not that I'm aware of. Visiting this thrift store is a recurring dream I have. I'm not sure exactly where it's located, but it's reminiscent of the Main Street of the town I grew up in, Placerville, California.*

I don't know what triggers this dream. I've been fixated on updating my home's interior lately, which might be part of the reason. I love thrift stores, garage sales, and flea markets, and I don't get to visit them often enough–is the dream the result of my unfulfilled need to bargain shop?

Whatever the reason, I've been dreaming about this magical thrift shop for years now, and it's so vivid that I wake up not knowing if it's actually real or not. I always feel a little sad when I realize it's a figment of my imagination.

Let's open the floor to commenters: Do you have a recurring dream(s)? Or better yet, do you have any thrift shop/garage sale finds you're particularly proud of?

*The sign above is from the Hangman's Tree, a local bar in Placerville, which unfortunately is closed down (or soon to be). Too bad. Placerville is an old Gold Rush Town and this particular bar sported an effigy hanging from it's roof. I love that sort of thing. Someday I want to write a novel set there during the Gold Rush period.

Positivity

May 19, 2010Diversions, More About Me4 Comments

Lately I've fallen back into a bad habit. I've been reading the comments posted on news stories–and not just any news stories, the controversial ones. I read the comments on reports I know are going to bring out the crazies (and by crazy I mean anyone who doesn't agree with my point of view). I'm kind of just kidding about what I deem to be crazy but you know what I mean. It's like I'm purposely searching for things that will get my dander up.

In the early days of the Internet, I was naive and earnestly commented on issues that were important to me. I never engaged in spewing hate, but I confess to trying, now and then, to present my argument in a thoughtful way to try to sway other commenters. It wasn't long before I realized that spirited debate was mostly not the point. Comments on news and other stories were and are just an opportunity for the angry, often prejudiced, mob to spread their venom. I quickly learned that message boards and reader comments were not the place for me.

Some people get off on this sort of thing, but I take everything so personally. I recently read a news story about Los Angeles boycotting the state of Arizona in response to their new immigration law and headed straight to the comments because I knew they were going to be rough. A lot of people didn't have very nice things to say about the city I live in and love. And I actually got depressed.

But like I said, this has sort of become a habit with me lately. For the last year or so I've been visiting the website of the Catholic League simply because I know there's going to be something on it that's going to piss me off. That's a little sick, no?

I mostly find that when I'm writing (or editing/revising, as I am now), I tend to get on a roll where the words flow freely and then I suddenly hit a brick wall and I'm stuck (for instance, I'm stuck now and I decided to take a break to write up this post). The first thing I want is distraction, and we all know their ain't nothing more distracting than the Internet. And when I'm finished checking email, CNN, Facebook, etc. and those words still aren't flowing, the next thing I do is feed my compulsion for negativity via blogs, websites, and reader comments that I know will ruffle my feathers.

I am declaring a moratorium, here and now, on this behavior because it serves no purpose other than to upset me. I have enough going on in this head of mine–I definitely don't need to look for negativity elsewhere.

What about you? Are you sometimes drawn to negativity or do you try only to engage in positivity?

Light Me up

May 16, 2010Inspiration, Diversions1 Comment

We need a new dining room chandelier. The one we currently have is a somewhat ugly, generic, Home Depot model. Three of the bulb holders are permanently broken.

Trouble is, Mick and I have a no-buy agreement for May. That means we aren’t buying anything this month except for food and extreme need items. Since the three of the bulb holders still work, the chandelier purchase can be put on hold (and has been for many months).

I could make the argument that I need to get the new chandelier next month when the no-buy agreement ends, but that would be too easy. First, I need to find the perfect one. Second, I have to decide how I want to re-do our entire decor, because…

I have a confession to make. I’m feeling the itch not only for a new chandelier but for a COMPLETE HOME MAKE OVER. It can’t be denied that we have a beautiful home, especially at first glance. But the floors need refinishing, the windows need replacing, the carpets need tearing out, and the walls need painting. Oh, and we need new floor to ceiling drapes in the living room (7 at over 142″ each. That’s a lot of fabric).

That’s not all. I want a new master bathroom and a new kitchen.

I’m glad I got that off my chest.

Of course, none of these things, even the chandelier, will be happening any time soon. I have an ACL surgery to prepare for on June 7 and several weeks of recovery to look forward to after that (actually, it takes 6-9 months to fully recovery, but I’m talking about the immediate recovery after surgery). Plus, there is no money for all this–why do you think we have a no-buy agreement? Oh, there’s money maybe for the new windows but hello, where’s the fun in that? That’s like getting new clothes for Christmas when you were a kid.

Here’s what I’d do if I had a fully-functioning knee and wasn’t pretending to write a novel: I’d really like to do a dramatic but budget-friendly makeover of several rooms in our house. Do the research, do the work, everything (and blog it, of course). Reuse and recycle everything I can, and use the stuff we already have in new ways. Because that sort of thing really floats my boat.

Since that will have to be put on hold, at least for awhile, I contented myself today with searching on Etsy for unusual lighting I liked:

That will have to do.

Roasted Portabello Mushroom Lasagna

May 15, 2010May 24, 2014Crime Writers Kitchen, RecipesLeave a comment

Photo by Cyclone Bill via Wikimedia Commons

Lately, I’ve been a little obsessed with lasagna. I pretty much make a batch every time I entertain. Why? Because it’s delish. And because it’s a dish you can make ahead, then pop it in the oven when it’s time to eat dinner. That means I get to socialize with my guests instead of slaving away at the stove while everyone else partays.

My go-to lasagna recipe is from Cooking Dinner: Simple Italian Recipes Everyone Can Make. It features a simple meat ragu and bechemel sauce version that’s oh so yummy. But my sister-in-law is visiting from England this week and I needed a vegetarian version. This Roasted Portobello Lasagna is what I came up with (it’s basically a mash-up of a few lasagna recipes).

Roasting the portobello mushrooms brings out their rich, smoky flavor. Coupled with creamy bechemel and sharp parmesan-reggiano, this lasagna is a truly amazing dish (if I don’t say so myself).

This is the lasagna before it’s been baked. Even uncooked it’s beautiful!

Ingredients:

1 1/2 lbs portobello mushrooms
Olive oil
4 cups milk
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup flour
1 tsp salt
Pepper to taste
1/8 ground nutmeg
12 lasagna noodles
8 oz shredded mozzarella cheese
1 cup freshly grated parmesan-reggiano cheese

For the bechemel sauce:
Heat the milk in a medium saucepan over medium heat until it’s just about to boil. Meanwhile, melt the butter over low heat in a larger saucepan. When melted, remove from heat and whisk in the flour until smooth. Continue whisking, and add the heated milk about one cup at a time.

Return the mixture to low heat. Add salt and nutmeg and stir until the sauce reaches a boil. Cook for three more minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and set aside until ready to use.

For the roasted portobellos:
Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees.

Remove stems and slice the caps about 1/4 inch thick. Drizzle olive oil over a cookie sheet and lay the slices closely together on the pan. Drizzle more olive oil over the slices and season with salt and freshly ground pepper.

Roast portobellos for about ten minutes, until they are sizzling. Turn them over, then roast for an additional ten minutes. They will shrink considerably and become a lovely rich brown color. Set aside until ready to use.

For the lasagna noodles:
Fill a large pot with water, salt it, and bring to boil. Add the noodles and boil for 10 minutes. Drain and rinse with cold water until cool enough to handle.

Assemble the lasagna:
Ladle a spoonful of bechemel into the bottom of an 8x12x2 inch pan. Add a layer of noodles. Add another layer of bechemel, 1/3 of the mushrooms, top with a sprinkling of mozzarella and 1/4 cup parmesan-reggiano. Repeat 2 more times. Add a final layer of noodles, sauce, and parmesan-reggiano.

Bake the lasagna in a 375 degree oven for 45 minutes, or until the top is browned and the sauce is bubbling. Allow to sit for 15 minutes at room temperature before serving.

Substitutions: Take a page from my friend Ben’s recipe book and use sharp white cheddar cheese instead of the mozzarella and parmesan-reggiano.

Finally, here’s where I get all food-snob on your ass. If you haven’t tried lasagna (meat or otherwise) with bechemel instead of ricotta or <shudder> cottage cheese, do yourself a favor and try it. You’ll never look at the world the same after that.

Progress Report

May 4, 2010Writing, Diary of Bedlam6 Comments

After my "woe is me" post yesterday, many of you said "Well, at least you can still write!" Indeed, I can, and indeed I am. I've finally found an editing/revision method that's working for me and in the last couple of weeks I've made slow but steady progress.

But first, I forgot to post this yesterday:

Just in case you've never seen the inside of my knee before.

Now back to progress. My daily routine is simple. Every day I print out the next chapter that needs work. First thing I do is read it all the way through, trying not to edit as I do this so I can get an idea of what the chapter is about and how it fits with previous chapters. Next, I read it with my red pen in hand and make all the changes I think it needs. I usually have my trusty yellow legal pad next to me so I can write detailed notes or even re-write passages if I need to. This, obviously, is the longest part of the process, and while I try to get at least one chapter done a day if there is serious re-writing that needs doing sometimes that doesn't happen. The final step is to go back to my manuscript and make the changes. There's usually some re-writing that goes on during this step as well but it's generally just tweaking.

I now have just over a third of a polished novel I wouldn't mind showing to someone besides Stella and Stuart. Although Stella does like sinking her teeth into a good historical once in awhile. And by "polished" I don't mean "finished." I simply mean it's gone through it's first pass and I'm ready to let people read it. And by "people" I mean Mick.

Folks, it's been almost a year since I finished my first draft, and believe me, I'm well-aware I am going slow. But I try to tell myself this is my first novel. I'm learning. At the same time I can't cut myself too much slack or else this will never get done. So I generally give myself foot rubs in between floggings.

I know this is my blog but let's turn the floor over to you. What are you working on? Summer is coming, do you have any projects in mind? C'mon, I really want to know.

Dealing with Setbacks

May 3, 2010Uncategorized4 Comments

About four weeks ago I tore my ACL in a skiing accident. I suppose the term "accident" is a bit melodramatic; the truth is I fell down. I was skiing down a blue/black run, challenging, but certainly not beyond my capabilities. I was practicing carving and I got to going a bit too fast. I'm not sure what happened next but I lost control and fell with my left knee in an awkward position. I knew from the pain and my subsequent inability to put weight on it I'd done some significant damage.

After an MRI and a couple of visits to an orthopedic surgeon, it was determined the ACL is fully torn and I will need surgery in about four weeks to repair it because apparently, ACLs don't heal on their own (sneaky bastards). The surgery is fairly routine, not too invasive, and recovery is generally quick, so I haven't been that concerned. In the next four weeks, it's up to me to rehab the knee by swimming, using the stationary bike, and a little bit of eliptical.

If you're interested in learning more about the surgery, visit this link.

I'd been healing well. Most of my range of motion had returned, I had almost no pain and no swelling. But yesterday I had a bit of a setback and I re-injured the knee simply getting into the back seat of a car.

I have no adequate way to describe the level of pain I experienced; suffice to say I nearly passed out from the intensity of it. Now my knee is worse that it was before and I'm feeling a lot more nervous in general about the surgery, the recovery, all of it.

I'm just not that good at dealing with setbacks.

This is where I pick myself up by my bootstraps and keep limping forward until I get to the finish line. I keep telling myself nothing's changed. But the truth is I'm tired of being a gimp. I'm tired of not being able to exercise properly. I'm even tired of being waited on, if you an believe that. I just want to get this done with.

But enough of my complaining. How do you deal with setbacks?

Writer | Editor

Monthly Archives: May 2010